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Now, I understand what I’m getting into here; defending Adam Sandler is an uphill battle. I get this. I saw Jack and Jill. (Okay, no I didn’t. That movie looked like total shit.)
THE MACGUFFIN MEN: In Defense of Adam Sandler
Sex & relationships
As more boomers move into this 70+ “asshole demographic,” more tax cutting, service cutting politicians will get elected into office— surely making life shittier for the rest of us.
Baby Boomers: The Fucking Worst
When your head’s in the toilet, you probably won’t think they’re so great anymore.
7 Unconventional Ways To Get Over A Breakup
They’ve got a good smell, new car-ish, and they fold well, but there is one fatal flaw in their design.
Young Money vs Old Money*
Mother Hen Syndrome: This occurs when one female of any given group tends to shoo away any potential “mates”.
saturday night in the city
Suddenly your fists are clenched and you realize that you’re giving cut-eye to the ceiling.
The Green Monster*
Oh this broad’s heels are 4 inches, with three straps...dope. That means all I need to do is tell her that my apartment’s empty!
The Truth Is In Your Footwear
Ah, harlotry, the oldest and in this author’s humble estimation most noble of the barrel bottom careers, the others being robbing, stealing, petty extortion and second degree murder.
DICK BY PROXY
But with enough alcohol, that same group of too-cool-for-you people are either gonna be hugging you like they’ve known you for years, doing the dirty in some remote corner, or puking their brains out in the bathroom.
Friendship via Shots
Rather than singing annoyingly addictive pop tunes, I always go for the really melodramatic ballads.
What Showers are Really For
Fuck you! I am not blowing this out of proportion.
But we have invented a new grammar/punctuation and it is called "Fuck that Shit".
Just one tit, every now and again, from a complete stranger can and will improve the lives of every individual on earth.
Free Association: Breasts
Let’s take used shoes, for example. Did you know that on average, human feet produce ONE CUP OF SWEAT PER DAY?
Save me from the Salvation Army
These general and seemingly innocuous questions are in fact difficult and riddled with endless rabbit holes aimed at keeping you within their conversational stronghold for an uncomfortable amount of time.
So, What Have You Been Up To These Days?*