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Okay, so there’s no cool caramel sauce and they don’t call your name all enthusiastically when it’s done. But remember, you’re poor as fuck so deal with it.
School's In, Poorness Awaits*
Sex & relationships
As many of you know a hobo can live on as little as 23 cents per day
Toronto On a Hobo's Salary
Had the blast beats and demonic vocals somehow make me more efficient?
A spoonful of death metal makes the medicine go down
We were never looking for anything other than laughs or pop songs, but sometimes we ended up finding something interesting.
All Pink Everything
If it exists, you can lube it!
Lube It Up!
Fifty percent of men get prostate cancer. Our orgasms last eight seconds, while women’s last thirty. Half of all men have erectile dysfunction at some point in their lives.
Ask Moe: Appropriate Pregnancy Jokes
They said all I needed to do was attend a four year program and all of my dreams would come true.
Don't Go to University
For the last time, Jordan Eberle is not in the playoffs, so please stop asking how he’s doing.
How to Piss Off a Hockey Fan*
Put my head down, avoid eye contact at all costs, fumble with my phone, and maybe throw in a few shitty fake laughs.
The Ever-humiliating Ex Run-in
There have been others who have been more popular at times, but the only person who comes close to the same kind of dominance is Kanye West
The First Baby of Hip-Hop
You spent the extra money to make sure your Japanese sex doll had a realistic pubic hair weave. You have at least one fleshlight that’s stained with pickle rind. This is who you are to me.
An Open Letter to the Man Who Filmed My Cleavage
Even with a few certifiable misses, his movie career from that time span has some memorable successes, from his small parts in Zoolander and Old School to widely-loved vehicles like Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory and Step-Brothers.
THE MACGUFFIN MEN: The Campaign for Comedy
For the most part, the only plumbing a woman is familiar with is her own.
Why to Never Share Bathrooms with girls
“Pretentious” is a word constantly bounced throughout the halls of galleries, exhibitions and art shows, and not only does everyone seem like an expert, the level of pretentiousness appears to exist as infinite as a room full of mirrors.
His artistic talents belie his every-man persona. He's the kind of guy who would be “crackin’ everybody up” at your place of work or on the street corner.
Chip Chipperson: The Next Big Thing.*