L Woods 3 Telltale Signs He's a Cheater

How often do you walk by a magazine stand and see the headline: “Is He Cheating? Read This and Find Out!” or something alone those incredibly stupid lines? Answer: all the time.

These articles are designed to make innocent people look guilty and to drive suspicious people over the line of insanity. The so-called “signs” they offer are always really ridiculous and anyone in their right mind should be able to read them and tell that they’re reaching. Then again we’re talking about females 18-34 who are turning to Cosmo or Glamour for relationship advice so let’s not give them too much credit.

These are a few of my favorites:

1.    He Won’t Share His Passwords. Are you kidding me? Asking your significant other for their phone, email, or Facebook passwords is beyond out of line. Even if you promise them you won’t look and only want the passwords for “security,” you have issues. Let’s face it, you’re going to snoop and when you don’t find anything you’ll start making stuff up. If you honestly need to check in on their personal spaces just to make sure they aren’t cheating, you’re clearly not ready to be in a relationship. Him not wanting to share his passwords is not a telltale sign that he’s cheating. You asking for them is a telltale sign that you’re nosy as fuck and have major trust issues.

2.    He Buys New Underwear. You’re right, because God forbid he’d be an adult and throw out his hole-filled boxers and treat himself to some new ones. No way, he must have a chick on the side. What, is he just supposed to wear the same ones forever? I’m pretty sure things like this are the reason why all men think women are psychopaths. If GQ was printing this kind of advice and their male readers were actually believing it, you better believe I’d be single forever. Girls buy new panties everyday and that never seems to be an issue! Do yourself a favor, if your man buys new boxers, just be thankful, and do not accuse him of cheating.

3.    He Won’t Give Up Details About Guy’s Night. Remember that time he asked you about your girls night just to be polite and you launched into a dramatic minute by minute replay of every detail of your night spent eating cookies and watch Bride Wars with the girls? Yeah, that was torture for him. So when you ask him about his night with the guys and he casually shrugs it off and doesn’t say much, it generally doesn’t mean that they went to the strip club and spent the night sucking on another chick’s nipples. It means he’s being nice and sparing you the details, which probably include a lot of farting and video games.  Really, you should be thanking him, but if Cosmo and Glamour have it their way you’d obviously burst into tears and envision him spending a night with his head between another broad’s legs!

Anyway, you get it. These articles are designed to turn readers into raging psychopaths who single handedly destroy their relationships with jealousy and a lack of trust.

Ladies, you need to chill!

Here are 3 times you can actually turn into a raging psychopath and key his car and no one will blame you:

1.    He says: “I cheated on you.”

2.    You see him cheating on you.

3.    You receive photo or video evidence of him cheating on you.

Til then, just relax and trust the guy. Stop trying to find problems in your relationship that don’t actually exist.

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