Tori Morrison Adultery is Bullshit

I respect monogamy, polyamory, swinging, polyandry, polygyny, and polygamy if they include consenting adults who are happy and secure within their relationships.

I respect single people who enjoy whoring around, 'seeing' people, one night stands, prostitution, abstinence, or masturbation.

I can understand people who live with Real Dolls, or fall in love with various objects like cars, shoes or buildings. Hell, I'd fuck a robot if it looked enough like a lady and was sentient. All of this I can understand, even if I haven't tried it, but adultery is just a pathetic. Now I'm not a man, but I find a lot of my brain functions like one. So I don't want to hear from any of you that I don't get it because I'm a chick. This isn't about sex, it's about fairness. If you want to have sex, have it. I'm not going to sit here and preach monogamy: I'm digging it, but I can get that it's not for everyone. All I want you to do is be honest with the other person. Build a sexual contract that works for both of you, and if it doesn't, then you need a different partner. Whatever you sign on for is all you get.

Do you really think Tiger Woods couldn't have found a lady who would swing with him? He's motherfucking Tiger Woods! His goddamn name is TIGER. Tigers don't get married; they eat people, win championships and make babies with tiger ladies. Tigers don't sneak around trying to bang the prettiest girl in the New Hampshire IHOP. So it wasn't like he didn't have options. If Tiger or Anthony or any fucker wanted to, they could find a partner who's willing to have a different kind of relationship. It's not like you can't find these people anymore. It's called the Internet and it's full of perverts and pop up ads. So figure out what works for you and your partners.

If you want to have several partners while your partner has only you, then find some people who will sign on for polyandry or polygyny. This one may be hard, but if that beach ball-headed super dork from Sister Wives can have four wives, there's gotta be someone out there whose willing to let you be the priesthood of their plural family. If you like your partner and you're not the jealous type you could always try swinging or polyamory. This can come in a variety pack of pleasure depending on what you both want in other partners. If you're jealous, distant and non manipulative, you may just want to be single and whore around when you get drunk. Whatever you want is fine, and you can share it with others if you find a second, third, or forth person who wants that. But when you cheat on people, you leave every fucking relationship as 'the asshole.'

Let's face it, every breakup has an asshole, and a victim. And although it sounds like you'd prefer to be asshole, there are so many more benefits to being the victim of the asshole. You get to keep your friends, and some of theirs. You never worry about getting shanked at a club because one of your exes sees you before you see them. The next person you end up with will trust you because you haven't cheated on every other person you've been with. And more than anything, you leave knowing you were honest and gave it your all, and that they're just a douchebag.


amen to that! preach it sista

beyond stupid

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