Alex Stephenson All Pink Everything

For close to a year, my friend and I had a terrible habit when we would hang out together. After hours of consuming various alcohol products, we would decide that logging onto YouTube and watching four hours of pop music videos was the only logical way to continue the evening. Normally, the realizations that would come out of these whiskey-fueled trips into MTV history would be things like, “I think Christina did her best work with DJ Premier,” “Lady Gaga has truly succeeded in trying to look like Andrew Dice Clay,” or “That gentleman in the New Radicals sure dances like a weirdo.” We were never looking for anything other than laughs or pop songs, but sometimes we ended up finding something interesting. Sometimes, we ended up watching Pink videos.

At no point in my life have I cared about Pink or her music. With the exception of Family Portrait, I never cared about any of her songs when they were popular. Her 2003 single Trouble used to get stuck in my head because the chorus was catchy, and the same thing happened with So What because every third person made it their ring tone in 2008. But I never really found myself legitimately interested in what would come next in Alecia Moore’s career. Only now, after over a decade of pop relevance, do I find myself interested in what she does next, and the reason behind that is simply because she is still doing something.

Looking at her videos in sequence, Pink’s career quickly grows out of her opening singles when she dresses like Puff Daddy in 1995, or still does dance sequences to seem cool to the Britney/Christina crowd. By the time we get to videos like Stupid Girls, we see that Pink actually does have some sort of idea to her music. In the song and video, she’s ripping on Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton’s penchant for fucking cars in music videos and Carl’s Jr. ads. It’s positively Eminemesque, if Eminem were into female body issues instead of raping his mom. Pink continued her war against plastic surgery and general pop cultural idiocy at that year’s VMA awards, when she accepted the award for Best Video by imitating Paris Hilton throughout her speech.

Her career since has sort of followed a similar formula: the songs are at times awful, but the intention is always good. She writes break up songs, or more songs about growing up an outcast. She might write very broad songs, but that’s just kind of the idea with any art you want to reach as many people as Pink’s has. The Matrix had to get its ideas of anti-authoritarianism across through Keanu Reeves dodging bullets; The Bourne Ultimatum couldn’t be a blatant piece of criticism about the George W. Bush administration without Matt Damon using a book to beat the shit out of a guy.

Pink hasn’t made a lot of good music. I know this. I like U + Ur Hand quite a bit, and Family Portrait can still make me nod my head, but I will not go out of my way to listen to any of Pink’s songs (while sober) again. But I appreciate her. I appreciate that Pink has a platform to continue to make popular music, and despite not particularly caring for the music itself, I’m happy it still gets heard. I don’t care much for pop music, but I can at least appreciate when ideologically interesting stuff is popular, and Pink might be that.

As I watched Katy Perry perform The One That Got Away at the American Music Awards, I had no idea why she was dressed like she was, with her hair like it was, performing what is probably supposed to be taken as a serious, depressing love song. I bet Katy Perry didn’t really think about it either, because that seems to be how she does things. Similarly, I had no idea what the fuck was going on with LMFAO’s performance. It looked like Robin Sparkles’ video for Let’s Go to the Mall, but instead of a mall they were at an awards show and brought Justin Bieber and David Hasselhoff instead of Alan Thicke. (For those wondering, LMFAO did not forget the robot.)

There was nothing going on; it was just shit happening and then more shit happening. And people loved this. I might not like Pink’s music, but I like that she at least takes it seriously. She might be overly calculated, but at least those calculations are getting her somewhere valuable. Pink has said that her next goal may be to go to Nashville and make a country record, "Just absolutely, consciously, not trying to get played on the radio." She might actually try to do that, but she probably won’t, and I hope she doesn’t. We might need her more than anyone realizes.

Comments

No one reads these things, but I'll give it the ol' cgoelle try. I'm a 17 y/o dj. I've done a mix but i'm not sure that it's good. I don't have? any dj equipment just virtual dj on my computer.Maybe I'm just a dreamer,but we all have dreams. Maybe my music is worth something.? Even though I'm kind of(ok totally)being a spammer? right now..Please check me out?Just 1 thumb could fill my world with unicorns rainbows. No pressure. If you do, it means the world. You made me smile

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