L Woods Another stupid diet trend: coconut water

If a product promises to improve your health, wellbeing, and make you somewhat more attractive, chances are you are going to try it. Why wouldn’t you? If there’s even a slim chance that this so-called miracle product can turn your ugly mug into a work of art, you’ll take it. Fat, thin, gorgeous, or not, we’re constantly aiming for perfection right? If a gorgeous celebrity also endorses that product, well that usually just seals the deal.

Coconut Water seems to be the newest trendy miracle worker. It promised to add luster to my hair, help me shed a few pounds, and it's the drink of choice of Emma Watson. I was sold. I figured, I love coconuts, I love water, and I’d probably hook up with Emma Watson if given the chance, what’s not to love? I went out and picked up the biggest bottle of coconut water I could find.

I cannot express to you enough how much this stuff sucked.

It’s actually disgusting. The smell of it alone is enough to make you lose your appetite completely. All you have to do is take the lid off the bottle and the entire room becomes filled with its stench. It reeks, and not in the way you’d think anything coconut related would.

I have a hard time believing that there’s anyone out there who actually enjoys drinking this shit. Anyone who claims to love coconut water is really just trying to be trendy. In the slim chance that you actually do enjoy it, please enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. Do not force the public to inhale its toxic fumes. Don’t be an asshole and drink it on the subway during rush hour.

If I had the option of sitting next to someone drinking coconut water during my 20 minute commute, or standing, pressed against a homeless man, I’d choose the latter. Every. Single. Time.


good day - re your " ztr post" yesterday send me a pm and we will definatley get back onto you there a bit expensive but good
kind regards

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