Moe Hunter Ask Moe: The Meaning of No

When a woman says, “no”, does she really mean “no” or does she really mean, “Are you kidding me?”

Question submitted by David.

Good question, David.

Throughout mankind’s long history, we’ve wondered what the true meaning behind a woman’s “no” is.

You see, David, it’s all in the delivery.

Not yours, hers. It’s all in the way she says “no”.

For example:

You’re at a bar and you’re drunk. You go up to a girl that’s out of your league, and with friends. You say “do you want a massage?”

If she says “no” she means it. If you keep going, you’ll get slapped and/or arrested.

Trust.

This is why:

You’re drunk. She’s too hot for you and you don’t know how to give massages.

But, let’s change that hypothetical around a little bit.

You’re at a bar, and you’ve been drinking too much. You go up to an ugly middle-aged girl that’s sitting alone at a bar drinking a Pina Colada in the middle of the winter.

You say “do you want a massage?”

She says “no” and then gives you a Mona Lisa smile.

You’re good to go. You’ve just took the first step to banging a girl with more baggage than Grand Central Terminal.

You see, boys and girls, it’s all in how she says it, and the circumstances.

If the girl is giving you a flirty “no”, it’s a test. Do you have the balls to go for what you want, or not?

Like the middle-aged divorced chick at the bar drinking a Pina Colada.

Do you want her enough?

If yes, then you’re golden.

If not, then go back to your mother’s basement and jack off into the shower.

Other ways to tell:

If she is 16, and you are Roman Polanski. No means no.

If you are asking her if she wants to do a line off your boner. No means no.

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