Moe Hunter Ask Moe: Threesomes?

Someone with experience with threesomes, what are your thoughts, did you enjoy it? Would you recommend others to experience it?

Question submitted by sandram

Well Sandra, if that is in fact your real name, I’m glad you asked. But first, let me ask you a question. Would you call yourself open-minded? Do you like to experience new things? Ever take MDMA and get into a hot-tub just for shits and giggles? Me neither. Me neither. That would be crazy and illegal and seriously we’re in a drought and hot tubs are a waste of water. Also that’s how you get cooties.

What are my thoughts? My thoughts are that threesomes are this crazy fantasy that just about everybody has, like owning your own home or becoming heavyweight champion of the world. The only difference is that you rarely become heavyweight champion of the world by buying women shots of Jager and telling them that they look ‘fun’.

You hear a lot of people say that they tried it once and it “wasn’t for them.” They’re liars. The whole lot of them. 

You see, the allure of The Menage-a-trois, The Threeway, The Wobbly H, or The Eiffel Tower, lies in the primal act of conquering the unknown.

You see, each one of us has a sexual starting point in their lives. Sort of like a home base. This can be the time you French kissed Jenny Kilgour helicopter-style in 9th grade, or the time you saved your special gift for your prude girlfriend.

As the years go by, you try new things, you go out and explore. A bite here, a rope there, mutual masturbation while watching your grandmother dancing on your Bar Mitzvah video; whatever the case may be. The point is, we’re exploring. Conquering new lands. Sailing into uncharted waters.

It’s how we found America, invented McDonald’s, and elected a black man as president.

It’s what makes us us.

And we all enjoy it. 

— Moe Indefensible

PS: Besides for sexually transmitted diseases, the only other real risk is getting too many high-fives from your bros.

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