Moe Hunter Ask Moe: What's the optimal 2 door car sex position?

Question submitted by Michael.

I once dated a Lithuanian girl. I was young, she was younger (not in a creepy way she was just younger dont judge me asshole). Anyways, I was living at home at the time, and she had a car. So needless to say, a lot of car sex happened. Being the classy gentleman that I was, I often told her to drive to the back of an old slaughterhouse, where we would have the peace and quiet to relax and bang in the back of her car. That story has no real purpose other than to tell you I used to fuck a Lithuanian girl behind a slaughterhouse. Moving on...

So. What's the best position?

When we talk about sex positions, especially car sex positions, you should probably be worried about the following things:

1. How much lateral flexibility does each member of the sexual encounter have?

2. What type of seats are there? Are these seats waterproof? What type of fabric is it?

3. Is she a squirter?

4. Will this void my car insurance?

Here's my advice to you: Start placing more emphasis on the sex you are about to have rather than on the condition your car will be in, post-coitus.

As a general rule, stop worrying about the conditions, and the environment of the sex, but rather focus on the act of fucking, and getting lost in the moment.

Let me hand down some life lessons:

Stop worrying about whether or not she has an STD

Stop nervously checking the time to see if you need to get back home to feed your pet

Stop getting all "grossed out" about going down on her

Stop freaking out about that red bump near her clit

Stop worrying about whether or not your dick is too small I mean I've seen other dudes and they're also small so why did she laugh the first time she saw my dick was she making fun of me.

Sorry. I digress.

Sex isn't a big deal.

It's a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, or any combination therein, just hugging with their genitals. 

Stop worrying about the optimal position. Any position is optimal. Any hole is optimal. 

Make a safeword and go to town on each other. 

The world is meant to be explored.

Whether it's upside down reverse cowgirl anal, or missionary in your parents' bed. 

Relax. Chill. Enjoy. 

It's that simple. 

Your's in Jesus,

Moe

 

 

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