When it comes to grooming, etiquette and fashion there is an elite group of visionary women and homosexual men who are in full control of what is considered socially acceptable. These pundits have taken the raw, unfiltered man and have slowly stripped him down, transforming him into a metrosexual, hipster-looking fucker.
According to them and now the rest of society, it is a major faux pas for men to have a hairy back, wear a pair of cargo pants, and put their feet up on the table. If you’re a man with said characteristics– stand your ground. This movement is just another large-scale way in which women are trying to change us. I say, dress and groom the way you want and as long as you aren’t hurting anyone, exercise etiquette the way you want too.
I should not be scrutinized or posted onto peopleofwalmart.com for this fashion choice.
I won’t lie- I often dress fresh-to-death, but sometimes I get out of the house in pajama pants. I should not be scrutinized or posted onto peopleofwalmart.com for this fashion choice. My PJs are stretchy and comfortable and your high-heels are bad for your posture and impractical. Yet I’m considered the loony eccentric?
The discontent I feel when my mother shaves my poor dog into a show dog is the same discontent I feel when I hear of a man waxing his chest. I, for one, try to disobey this social standard mostly out of spite by rocking an epic bush of pubic hair. As it turns out, this defiant act has also served to be practical for keeping my stuff safely nestled and warm during our winter months. Not to mention, a lot of women still have an animalistic attraction to barbaric looking men, which can and has led to the type of sex Nine Inch Nail’s Trent Reznor describes in his song “Closer”.
People need to get over themselves. Alright, so I don’t know which fork is for which dish; who gives a shit? I’m an animal about to eat some food with my hands and if this offends you then you’re probably a pompous, self-righteous douche. I’ll tell you what; I’ll stop obnoxiously blowing bubbles in my chocolate milk if you stop whinging when you see me drink my soup.
Always remember, no matter how much we try and reform ourselves into this proper and tasteful man, we are still animals. It shouldn’t be a bad thing to be tenacious with your inner beast. Man up and try it out, because damn, it feels good to be a caveman. It can take a lot of courage to rock a unibrow, so if you see a man with such- shake his hand.