Paul Parillo The Bathroom: Where Life's Truths are Revealed

For centuries, the people of various spiritual sects around the world have held their most comforted and deep thoughts in the warm embrace of their respective worship centers. Even today, in the midst of the ever present Atheist resolve, the same temples have held steadfast with the aid of history and prostration as its defense against modernity. Amongst all of this, though, there is one indelible confine that has been around much longer, and it’s one that even the most explicitly spiritual individual cannot ignore. It is, of course, the bathroom.

The various and ever contradictory “words of god” claim the almighty lord can be omnipresent and omniscient, but even he/she must avert their eyes to remain ignorant to the bowels of his/her children. Perhaps god just feels bad because we learned to potty train without any omnipotent presence. Nonetheless, can you think of a place more sequestered and protected from all outside influence? We sit/stand as individuals of thoughts, expression and personal freedom. The bathroom represents the true identity of the human race.

Sartre once said that “hell is other people” he said that, as we all know, because he had to poop in front of people. And his enflamed jealousy for bathroom stalls and personal latrines gave him an incurable distain for humans.

Where can we be so revealed yet so comforted and in control than in our bathroom. Even with a mirror giving us a third person perspective, we can remain sure of ourselves and our actions therein. Books, magazines, comics, crosswords etc have all been greedily devoured as we patiently wait for our prostate’s intentions to be carried out. One minute you walk into the bathroom as you existed in the present, and by the time you’ve left, you read/ learned a great deal about the world and the people in it!

I’m not one for the degrading act of worship, but after the many times I’ve experienced such tangible thankfulness towards the bathroom, I sometimes feel inclined to kneel humbly before the porcelain god. I don’t need its words of wisdom, I don’t needs it’s pressure from other believers, I just need to know it’s there, that it exists, and that it’s hungry for shit.

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helloooooooo

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