Arthur Rourke Bro's Night on the town

The boys night as we know it is a time honoured tradition. But what are we really doing when we gather up a group of the fellows and head out on the town? Is there some unspoken bond between the group. No chance, what the boys are heading out on the town for is, of course, the girls.

The typical guys night out starts out a single person’s home. Loud music, some good natured homo-erotic chatter, pre-drinking and sports conversation are a prerequisite. This gets that machismo in high gear, preppin’ the lads to engage the opposite sex in the contemporary mating rituals. All that means is that the boys get their confidence going, psyching one another up with weak insults and poorly constructed sentences aimed at continually misogynistic topics. Whatever the boys do before the hit the town ends up getting them going, so get used to it.

This big group mentality usually looses steam pretty quickly. After a few rounds of liquid courage, it isn’t unusual to see one of the herd leave the safety of larger numbers and go off in search of greener pastures. Lots of animal metaphors, but that’s because men are fucking animals.

Every night of the week you can find a solid grouping of young lads going out in unison. They sport the usual clean shirted, high collared, cologned up appeal that attracts a particular type of woman. Not to mention the inflated egos of the lads who are backed by their “bro’s” if anything were to get a little dangerous.

It’s a common sight to see one of these menageries interact with another. One fellows, who may have gone after an unattainable or out of reach lady friend, may butt heads with her suitor, or simply a pal who doesn’t take kindly to subject A sniffing around. This is where the safety in numbers argument holds its ground. That man, loyal to a fault, may think twice before challenging the bro’s bro to fisticuffs.

Don’t get me wrong, if bro’s bro is going a tad rapist on the lad, he more than deserves to be broken down and sent home. It just isn’t likely going to be by some random dude, the beating that is, and is far more likely will end up being the bouncer, whose career ambition is to flatten faces regardless of backing numbers.

The conclusion one has to draw from the rowdiness of a boys night out is that they are all secretly very homosexual. Or at very least a little too into their bro’s. Maybe they would rather stay in during the evening and practice MMA style wrestling and then mistakenly get into one another’s bed. Any way you slice it, the boys night out is here, and kind of queer, so get used to it.

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