Michael Turnbull Building Your Male Entourage

This post is for all of our female readers. I want to turn the chauvinistic table around and put the heel on the other foot.

See, a girl like you doesn't have time to date: who the fuck does? You have a career to think about, girl's nights to plan and spin classes to attend. But why would you waste that fab bod on just one boy, when you could have plenty of men champing at the bit? You are a hot, classy female with a progressive attitude, and its time to get your fuck on. Now there are plenty of boys who are willing to throw themselves at you.You have to stay sharp and separate the boys you can stand from the boys you want to put into a pleasure coma. You know, the 'friendzones.' Keep them coming back for more, and they will bring their hot, toned gym friends. I promise.

See, boys are stupid. All of them, and they want to stick you bad. BAD. They will show up in rain, sleet or snow, just to have a 'chance' at getting with you. This is what you bank on, the boys who don't know. You let them come by, you let them take you out. You let them tell all of their friends about how hot you are, but you never let them fuck you. He can get you off, but you don't return the favor, ever. The more he thinks he's getting somewhere, the more control you have over his friend list.

Now you're thinking; "Michael, you are one stupid, giant asshole. Clearly his friends will raise red flags." Baby, not with you they wont. You are the mastermind. You know that showing a little extra cleavage will get your male 'friends' to gossip. These are you hooks, and if you're looking to catch the prize, you have to use these boys as bait. See, you are unobtainable, the dirty secret that every guy wants.When Dave is clearly being played, I will ask to see your facebook pictures. I know they're tailored to me, I know you have been waiting to find me through my dim witted friend here, and I will tell him that I am there to support. "Man, you just gotta keep working," I'll say, or maybe my alternate approach, "You are gonna let her just use you like that? She's playing you man." He'll never believe me, but saying that clears my conscience, and I can then show up to the house party you're throwing in prep to meet me.

David will always recover when you sleep with his friends. He'll actually pretend that those things didn't happen when he clearly knows whats going on. See, he's your friend, and part of being friends is knowing not to cross certain boundaries. Boundaries that you have set. After a solid night of sleeping with me, you tell me to 'shut the fuck up' about our cute evening hangout. What you don't tell me is that it's a one night thing. You don't say much about the situation at all. You let me imagine that I could call anytime, like I have you hooked.

There are many Davids, and you'll need to keep a few around to get what you want. Believe me, the guilt of leading a couple of boys on will subside. You aren't doing anything wrong! These boys would have found their dominant girl somewhere else, and if she is smart, she'll play them too. One day they will settle for a wonderful girl who will treat them right, but that's not today. Today gorgeous, you will find your Mr. Right, and tomorrow you'll sleep with his best friend.

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