Hana Shafi To Club or Not To Club?*

Friday nights at the club? Nope. Not me.


Okay well, I’ll be fair: the dancing is fun, the getting to dress up and drink is fun too. But the thought of spending every weekend at a club makes me cringe. And believe me, there are people at the club every weekend.


Before I sound really pretentious and uptight, if you love clubbing then all the power to ya! But I think I’ve had enough of strangers fondling me in the dark and having to be my best friend’s personal bodyguard because some creep is literally following her across the dance floor. 


Don’t get me wrong, I totally love to get my freak on on the dance floor (yeah that’s right, I get my freak on sometimes). But when I’m boogying down and feeling like a dancing queen, it kinda kills my buzz when I can suddenly sense someone sidling up against my ass. Yeah, don’t do that, okay? Please communicate your desire to dance with a person; don’t just start rubbing your dick on everything that moves. 


On top of that, when I finally dodge the creepers like a game of Minesweeper and end up in the bathroom, the person in the mirror is just really fucking gross. I thought I looked like hot stuff when I walked in...at least, I was fairly certain I did. The chick staring back at me, however, is a blurred mess of sweat, foundation, melting mascara (should’ve used the waterproof one, goddamnit) and just some general club-specific ickiness that wafts through the room. If you had a good night then usually you couldn’t care less about the grossness, but if you spent the whole time escaping weirdos and this is the end result, not fun. 


But despite the really nasty parts of clubbing, I haven’t completely shunned it. Clubbing can still be an awesome experience and enduring some of the creepiness can usually be made a lot easier if you go with the right people. It’s also good to keep in mind that sometimes, you just gotta make a fool of yourself. It’s a dark room filled with loud music and drunk people. If you wanna try your hand at twerking and fail horribly, who the fuck cares? 


Maybe I won’t be attending the club this Friday night, but if I’m ever in the mood to just get drunk and make an ass of myself in a generally anonymous environment, I will once again attempt to brave the sea of semi-erections. See ya there. 

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