Owen Leskovar Dating And Job Hunting: Exactly the Same

Think about it: trying to properly navigate a first date is just like trying to navigate the job market, you unemployed slacker you. The only difference is that while jobs pay you, you often need to pay for a date. Here are a few similarities.

You lie during both: A more polite way of saying this would be to say that you "put your best foot forward." Of course, when you tell the hottie across the table from you that you "work at a law firm" we both know that you're bending the truth, mail boy. Ditto when you tell your interviewer that you "liased B2B with other company executives." Asking them how they like their coffee doesn't count.

You do most of it online: With so many badass websites, you can whore it up in the working world and the dating game. The only problem is that so can everyone else. Inevitably, this will get to you when you realize that every job you apply for or every person you message is probably getting dozens and dozens of potential applicants for that exact position or set of genitalia. Do you really have what it takes to seize the role?

You wait by the phone like a 16 year-old girl: After a date or job interview nothing is worse than the crippling anxiety. "I think I nailed it!" you think as you pat yourself on the back. But then two days becomes three, becomes four. "Fuck." You change your voicemail to sound more badass, you call for the follow-up and get ignored, and you pace around your living room in between bouts online (either Monster or OK Cupid, depending on the situation.)

"Screw them!" you think. "I aced that meeting! They're probably just with someone else right now, realizing how much less qualified they are than me." But then reality strikes. It's probably someone with double your qualifications asking for less money, or someone built like Hugh Jackman who rescues puppies in between fighting fires. That asshole.

Comments

There's nothing like the relief of finindg what you're looking for.

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