Liam Montgomery Day Shifts

Working the food and beverage industry everybody has to deal with the dreaded day shift. For those that aren’t familiar allow me to enlighten you. A day shift is a shift where you are trapped inside a dark room, listening to the same playlist you’ve heard thousands of times as you stare out the windows at sunny busy streets. Twiddle your thumbs as you think of ways to whittle down the hours to change over as monotony numbs your senses.

As a good employee you could of course start organizing cutlery, polish glass ware, wipe the innumerable amount of surfaces that need to be wiped or you can do one to all of the following.

1)      Fold linens while texting – find a table preferably tucked away in the farthest corner or maybe upstairs in the back next to the server station, remove all settings and set up a linen folding station. Fold about 10 linens and then reach for your phone. Then text away. While you are awaiting a response from Misty fold a couple of linens. Repeat.

2)      Invent drinks – Take random ingredients at your bar and play. Did you know you can make cherry cola with soda water, vanilla extract, lemon juice, cherry bitters, simple syrup, grenadine and an orange zest? Guess how long it took me to figure that out. A long time. Don’t worry though I won’t tell you the portions, give you something to do.

3)      Promote the business – That is just what you tell your boss, what you are really doing is standing outside, scoping talent. Maybe even hailing over a hottie or two and being like hey baby what’s up? I mean what better things do you have to do?

4)      Garnish Puppets – There is no cover up for this, you are just literally fucking the dog. Take garnish from your bar and a bunch of olive spears and see if you can build a giraffe, or perhaps an orangutan.

5)      Get Coffee – Be the nice guy and offer to get everybody coffee, act as if you’re going to pay for the coffee and then everybody will feel uncomfortable so they will give you their money probably too much and accumulatively everybody will be buying you coffee and you get to leave the restaurant for a bit. Take your time you know flirt with the barista.

If all that fails and you really can’t bring yourself to do absolutely nothing for 8.50 an hour then I guess you can pretend to clean shit, if you have to.

Liam Montgomery     

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