For the most part you men are fairly easy to please. You’re happy as long as you get bacon, sex, and hockey on a daily basis. If you’re in a bad mood it’s usually because you’re either hungry, horny, or because the Leafs threw another playoff run. There are, however, some things that you do that we will never figure out on our own. It would greatly appreciated if you could provide us with some answers.
Why do you keep the tags and stickers on your hats? When a girl keeps the tags on her clothes, it means that she bought something she can’t actually afford and plans on returning it after wearing it to an important event. In this case, the tags remain hidden. Do you realize how ridiculous you look with giant tags flopping around every time you move your head? Also, why do you insist on wearing your hat sideways? Why is your hat teetering on top of your head, rather than covering your ears? Why do you keep the brim completely flat? Why did you buy a Cardinals hat if you aren’t even a Cards fan? Seriously, why?!
Why do you watch such strange shows on TV? I know you think that our girly shows are dramatic and ridiculous, but at least they contain an actual plotline and have real, living and breathing actors. Seriously, there are a million shows on TV and you choose to watch Robot Chicken? Please, help us understand the appeal.
Why do you put in weeks of effort to get in a girl’s pants, and then immediately cut off all contact? I know you think you’re so smart because you “totally hit it and quit it,” but you’re actually just an idiot. If you had played your cards right you could have strung that poor girl along for a few more rounds before dropping her and forgetting her existence. If you’re going to rack up your phone bill by texting her all hours of the night, you might as well try and get your money’s worth, no?
Best answer gets the first 3 digits of L Woods` phone number. XOXO