Hana Shafi Women: Don't be Ashamed, You Love it Too*

It doesn’t matter whether you bring it up in middle school, high school or even way after all that; some people are still gonna act repulsed when you bring up the fact that ladies masturbate, too. And, in simple terms, that repulsion is just really fucking unfortunate. 

Sex is everywhere in popular media, and yet somehow, the topic of female masturbation remains a clumsy one: rarely addressed in mainstream media or vaguely referred to but never really explored or understood. Girls grow up seeing sexualized women in almost every TV show and movie they watch, but usually the sexualization of these women is only tolerated when it deals with her being sexual for a man. What about being sexual for yourself? If the TV vixens are gonna encourage girls to be sexual for others, why do they not encourage girls to experience pleasure by themselves? 

As my friend once put it, girls and young women are growing up thinking that their vagina is some dark cave of mystery. A girl awkwardly stumbling into those initial experiences of sexual activity is getting the message that it’s fine if she wants to blow her boyfriend (which it is), but gross or abnormal if she wants to touch herself. She knows what turns him on, but no one told her that she had a clitoris. Trust me on this one, you’d be surprised at how many girls (including myself) realized that we had that glorious piece of anatomy a lot later then we should have known.

Many girls who do respond to that sexual urge to masturbate later descend into feelings of shame or guilt. It remains their deep dark secret if they continue to do it, or they attempt to resist the urge, which can be detrimental to your well-being. 

If masturbation isn’t for you, then that’s cool too. Everybody is going to have their own preferences. But if it is right for you, it can be a terrible feeling, to say the least, when your body is asking you to do a completely natural thing, but your mind is plagued with fears that it’s wrong or dirty or makes you weird. That is so not fair. 

I say we put an end to that bullshit. When you’re buying that vibrator, don’t put it down on the counter and pretend you’re just buying it as some kind of gag present. Put it down with confidence, with pride! Think to yourself: this is my vibrator and I’m gonna have a great time with it! When you’re too horny to fall asleep, get those fingers moving and remind yourself that you’re a fucking goddess for satisfying yourself just for the hell of it! 

You’re exploring your own body language, discovering what turns you on, relieving pent-up stress and building sexual confidence. And if you made yourself orgasm, then you just give yourself your own mini standing ovation. Because you fucking deserve it. 

 

Comments

Hana, this article is simply phenomenal. Masturbation is a beautiful thing. You could masturbate in front of me anytime, if you so wish. Please let me dazzle you with my singing, acting, and alarmingly hipster attire.

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