Tori Morrison Don't Go to University

Eight years ago I entered into a horrific pyramid scheme. They said all I needed to do was attend a four year program and then all my dreams would come true. Then when I was almost done with my program, they started telling me the four year program meant nothing unless you took another two year program. I felt lied to, but what could I do? I could already hear the splashes of my dreams.

So I entered the two year program. By this time I was so out of money that if I stopped going I'd never make back the money I invested. I found every way I possibly could to keep filtering money to the top. I tried to climb the ranks; I even ended up with 50 or so people underneath and now I fear I'm too far in now to stop. There will be angry people who I have promised to pay out on their investment who may break my legs if I try to drop out. What people should have told me eight years ago, I am about to tell you. So that none of you should have to go through the terrors I have, and if you fail to heed my warning, let it be known that I told you so.

I've entered various degrees at university. I've finished one and am currently working on some others. I work full time at a job I could have had in high school. By now if I was nine years into the company, I'd have my boss' job, or perhaps his boss' job. There was a time when I was naive enough to believe that the only way you can get a good job is to have a university degree. What I didn't realize is that for the most part the degrees you receive only allow you to add to the reading material or to teach that material to other people: how is that not a pyramid scheme?!? To make matters worse, most university degrees are vague explorations of concepts which will make you smarter but won't get you a job. Let's use a case study. Person X was a great student. Person X gets into a great university and studies history, and graduates. Person X goes looking for a job, and doesn't find one. Person X takes a master's degree in history and graduates. Person X decides they could work for a museum. Person X comes to the horrible realization there is a two-year college degree for museum coordinator or archivist. Both of which had he originally attended he'd have a down payment on a house instead of years of student debt. Completely broke, Person X moves back in with his parents. Now he works for a multinational company at entry level. His supervisor is the dick who used to sell drugs during his history class. Person X never owns a speed boat.

If you want a job, go to college, find a program that specifically teaches you how to do one job. When you get in, work harder than anyone else there so you get a placement immediately out of school. Don't worry college girls are just as easy and the parties are just as good. If you want to make money go find an unskilled job in an environment with high turnover. Then work hard and don't quit. These environments are full of so many people with bad attitudes that if you come in and just tow the line, you'll supervise all the people who went to university in 4 years.

Now let's say you want to become an interesting person with broadened horizons. You should take all the money you were intending on wasting on university and get on a plane. Go travel the world and see museums and world landmarks, meet local people and engage in discussions about their world views. I guarantee you, you'll come out a more interesting person. But if you really think you're one of the few who can climb the ivory pyramid all the way to the top, perhaps you should know what you're in for. Four years from now the pitch comes about master's school then two years later the pitch returns about PhDs and if you think you're done then, has anyone told you about postgrad? After that you are in for a treat: you just need roughly four years of non contract working, a couple of successful books and articles, and a tour of conferences lectures and you may be offered a tenure track. Now if you don't mind, I really have some homework to do.


I agree. My parents want me to go to university because "it will get me a better job". I want to make them proud, but I cannot just listen to them, for I must follow my own dreams.

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