Narcissism is commonly looked down upon as a negative trait. Nobody likes an outrageously arrogant bastard who strolls into the bar with a fedora and sunglasses and think he’s the shit cause he buys expensive booze. But maybe a little bit of narcissism isn’t such a bad thing? With the amount of self-deprecation I hear from my friends on a daily basis, perhaps it might be a good thing to have a small dose of unwarranted arrogance every now and then, just to remind ourselves that we’re not failures or losers or whatever insult we hurl at ourselves every night.
Like everything else, it’s something needed in moderation. Like I said, don’t be fedora guy. Self-awareness is integral in life and knowing your own flaws will help you go far; vehemently denying any of your faults will only hold you back from growing, and will certainly mean a loss of some very good friends. But I find that people are, more often than not, exceedingly hard on themselves; tossing and turning on those sleepless nights where you can’t help but endlessly berate yourself. People are constantly comparing themselves to others, doubting their own capabilities because of the success of people around them, failing to recognize that we all have to go at our own pace in life, even if others are far ahead.
So if we are, in fact, our own worst critics, I see no harm in standing in front of the mirror after a shower and thinking, hot damn I am flawless as fuck. My own self-deprecation has been the most intense cause of misery in my life, and it has literally zero benefits. I see my own flaws, but when I’m feeling at my worst, I see them magnified 100 times, going from “wow I should stop procrastinating” to “I am a lazy worthless loser” in an instant. My New Years resolution was to remind myself on a daily basis that I am badass vamp bitch, and so far it has worked well for me.
Yes, there are the off days where I’m angrily buying painkillers at the drug store in my sweats and curry-stained university sweater. But my mini-doses of narcissistic pep talks have only done me good thus far, so I will continue to indulge in them while shamelessly dancing to Xtina’s greatest hits in my bedroom.
It also helps to have friends who remind you of your good traits when you’re feeling low. Friends who can honestly keep you in check when you’ve made some poor choices and can (politely) point out your less admirable traits from time to time, but can also enlighten you to the genuinely fantastic things about you (and trust me, everyone has some fantastic in them).
So put on your playlist of guilty-pleasure songs and throw exceedingly exaggerated compliments at yourself while you get ready in the morning. Believe me, it makes a difference.