Hana Shafi Friendship via Shots

Thank goodness for alcohol.

Making friends is hard work. Whether you realize it or not, most of us are trying our best to exaggerate our so-called “best qualities,” whatever you think those are. I’ll admit that I’ve regularly tried and consistently fail to embody a natural crossover of witty charm, hilarity, and class, while also somehow being the life of the party. Yeah... It usually backfires. 

And then there comes the alcohol. It hardly helps you to achieve any of the above qualities. In fact, it strips everyone of them. And yet that’s the best part - a blessing in disguise. Those shots of tequila work to equalize the playing field. Sure, some are gonna hold their liquor a lot better than others (cue the crying drunk chick texting on the staircase), but in the end everyone is just embarrassing in some way or the other. 

No, you shouldn’t be dependent on alcohol to help you socialize with others, but let’s face it, it can be really difficult to walk in, your awkward, uncomfortable, sober self, and feel in touch with that group of well-dressed people laughing at an inside joke that you’re not cool enough for. They’re talking about that one time where what’s-her-face did a strip tease on top of a table and you’re just thinking yeah I was playing Tetris for 4 hours that night. 

But with enough alcohol, that same group of too-cool-for-you people are either gonna be hugging you like they’ve known you for years, doing the dirty in some remote corner, or puking their brains out in the bathroom. Now, the next time you see these people you won’t necessarily have to rely on a round of shots. Everyone pretty much broke the ice when they got shit-faced last time and hopefully, you’ll have some kick-ass memories to share.

Also, at least one person will decide to share with you that one time that they pissed themselves on a road trip. So much for class, but it’s fun, memorable, and, well, realistic. Fuck the fancy glasses of champagne and making sure your shirt is properly tucked in. Break out the hard liquor and you’ll have friends in no time.  

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