Summer's in the air, and that means that a whole slew of people will now be reattempting their botched New Years Resolutions. "It's time to get fit for the beach!" My gym will be full of middle-aged women reading Glamour while walking on the treadmill, and the sidewalks will be commandeered by wheezing people "running" with wheezing dogs.
And good for them! I'm not hating on the effort to get in better shape, although truthfully, the amount of "effort" is usually pretty dismal. Low-fat ice cream and two jogs a week isn't gonna do much. What I'm complaining about is the masturbatory bragging and broadcasting of your incredibly badass new fitness regime.
"Text me: my phone's off. At yoga :D"
"Just got home from the gym, oh man."
"Hey hun, do you wanna come work out with me? I go Mondays at 3, Tuesdays at 5, Wednesdays at 4:30..."
HOLY FUCK! WE GET IT! You exercise. Congratulations. To me, this is more annoying than the bullshit culture of insignificance that Twitter used to be. "Eating some tasty soup." Cool bro. At least you're not bragging about it.
Look, you're an adult: you don't need to run around saying "look what I can do! Guuuuyyyysssssssssss.....look!" like a kid trying to earn a gold star or a round of applause. I don't give a shit about your jogging regime. The people who make a whole massive production about going to the gym are the people who hardly ever go to the gym. Stop being a tool.