The question that has plagued humans since the time the super hot Australopithecus caught the average looking Australopithecus beating off. It’s a universal phenomenon that we have all fallen prey to. Whether it’s tripping on the sidewalk while passing a group of attractive ladies or stinking up the washroom only to find THE hottest guy at the party next in line to use it. No one is immune.
But when you really analyze it, why? Obviously when you’re trying to impress someone (and in my case, eventually sexually disappoint them) you don’t want to do or say anything embarrassing. But even when there is no chance of sexual conquest, any embarrassing slip up becomes more awkward around someone attractive. Even my mom is more embarrassed when she can’t find her license to give to the “cute” cop. I’m pretty sure she isn’t planning on sucking him off.
Equally amusing is our willingness to be tactless around people we aren’t attracted to. You know that 5, with the weird teeth in your economics class? I bet your far more willing to chance a fart around them than the “hottie” from your work that you’ve fantasized about in the shower. Around the hottie, you won’t even think about farting while they’re in the same area code. Seems fascinating to me, when the chances of sex with either are very low.
Now, I know you are probably all coming to the same conclusion as I am. This is obviously all caused by global warming and 9/11. Wait, what? Never mind. I have no idea why we behave this way. Maybe we’re all vapid and shallow, believing that beauty is the most important thing to judge people by. But that doesn’t seem to fit with the meritocracy that is western society or the way we choose our celebrities SOLELY based on their talents alone…
If you read this and think to yourself, “Hey, no one is ever embarrassed around me” you are probably ugly.