L Woods if your bra comes in a box, you're doing it wrong

The fact that big department stores such as Zellers and Sears are allowed to have lingerie sections seems wrong. You’re only supposed to go to these places when you have the late night munchies or need to buy some cheap flip-flops.

I cannot imagine dragging my (imaginary) boyfriend into Wal-Mart to help me pick out something sexy to put on for him later. Many guys will tell you that a bra is a bra and that as long as there are some boobs underneath it, it doesn’t matter where it came from.

As a lingerie activist, I’m going to tell you not to listen to these idiots. A bra is not simply a bra. Think of a bra as two hands that get to hold onto your precious tatas all day. You wouldn’t just let anyone walk up to you and cop a feel, would you? No, you have standards, and your choice of lingerie should reflect that. The problem I have with department store lingerie is that it usually comes in “multi-packs.” This is wrong on so many levels. Lingerie is not supposed to be something that you can quickly pick up at the corner store on your way home. It is not supposed to be an item on your grocery list. It’s supposed to be tried on in a pink room with a few full-length mirrors and dimmers on the light switches. If you’re one of those people who’s committing the 3-pack panties crime, stop. Put the box down. Stop saying that “you need to be practical.”

Lingerie is not supposed to be practical. Practicality is the orgasm’s worst nightmare. Here’s my advice: pick a day, any day, and don’t eat. Don’t buy breakfast, don’t buy lunch at work, and don’t pick up some Chinese take-out on the way home. Take that money that you would have spent on food, go to the nearest lingerie store, and buy something racy, lacy, and completely impractical. Now you have some new lingerie and the confidence to wear it since you haven’t eaten all day. [I can only assume she's joking. - Ed, amused]

Even if you don’t have a significant other to wear it for, there’s something completely satisfying in walking around your apartment in nothing but a sexy slip. Don’t even bother closing the curtains. Buying your undergarments in a box that contains two whites and a beige is the equivalent of wearing Sketchers Shape-Ups in public, or taking your cat for a walk. It’s just wrong. Be nice to your tatas. They want silk, lace, and ribbon holding them, not cheap cotton that came folded in a cardboard box.

Smarten up, ladies.

Comments

obviously, baggy, oversized ethlocs would be your first line of defense. make sure you wear layers, as the straps will be obvious on your shoulders without them.next, i would say wear the smallest comfortable size, and make sure to avoid anything pointy, as some bras have a seam up the front that makes a bit of a peak.then keep your colors in mind don't wear a dark bra under a light shirt.good luck.

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