Remember that whole Kony 2012 thing that you didn’t really care about, but you “liked” it on Facebook because you’re a hopeless victim of Slacktivism and you didn’t want to look like that one asshole that doesn’t care about African child soldiers? Well, you might want to go “unlike” it now.
It’s not just because you’ve suddenly realized that Joseph Kony has actually been active for over twenty-five years, and you look like a total idiot for not knowing about him until you learned about it via your friend’s Facebook status. No – it’s because on the evening of March 15, Kony 2012 co-founder Jason Russell was arrested for drunkenly masturbating in public. Yeah, you read that right.
According to TMZ, who actually caught the event on camera, Russell danced around on a San Diego street corner in a Speedo for a while before whipping his dick out and performing various “sexual gestures”. What a role model, right? The video is really pretty disturbing – almost more disturbing than the fact that Joseph Kony has spent the past twenty-something years recruiting child soldiers. Congratulations, Jason Russell. People are now officially paying more attention to your penis-related activities than the cause that you set out to publicize.
Then again, it sounds awful, but did anyone ever genuinely care about Invisible Children’s cause, or were they more concerned with keeping up with social media trends? I think the repercussions of Russell’s public penis party will further prove how people are more interested in the fantastical glitter decorating the anti-Kony movement than achieving the movement’s actual aims. Ugh, we suck. Anyways, I think it’s safe to say that whole KONY 2012 thing is going to disappear as quickly as it...came. Get it? Get it?