I think we can all agree that everybody’s pretty much full of shit. While the sheer volume of said shit is in itself uninteresting, the multitude of shit variation is so great and diverse that it boggles the mind.
It’s amazing that even generally boring and uncreative people can approach levels of artistic genius when crafting the numerous lies and self-deceptions that help them get through the day. Some of these lies actually aren’t so bad, and can be quite useful in the pursuit of a successful and happy life. These firmest stools of shit can serve as a foundation of a person’s identity and help them keep on keepin’.
When it seems like everything is against you, it’s nice to pick yourself up with time honored turds such as “I can do better” or “I’m a good person and I’m worthy of love.” To call these lies is not to say that you necessarily couldn’t do better, rather it’s to say that that you may not and you won’t know for sure until you fall flat on your face. Furthermore, it’s overwhelmingly likely that you’re just an okay person, and love has virtually nothing to do with worthiness. Unfortunately, there are also countless poorly constructed, short-sighted lies being lived : lies that seem appealing at first, but— like a giant plate of suicide wings— they inevitably deteriorate into a steaming, sloppy mess sooner or later.
As I’m sure you’re all aware, the problem with sloppy shit is that it’s sloppy. And also shit. The pungent aromas of our half-baked rationalizations, poorly constructed defense mechanisms and idiotic crusades for greatness waft through society, perpetuating the continual shit-storm that we call modern life. While we’ll most certainly never fully be able to stop this eternal stream, it’s my hope that by identifying some of its primary iterations we may be able to briefly defer the day when we’ll inevitably drown ourselves in its fetid stinking mass.
You Can Be Anything: While the notion that you can be anything you want to be was long ago debunked by balding, overweight janitors who lost their feet stepping on land mines in Korea, it somehow continues to hold a lot of weight with middle-class directionless twenty somethings . Part of the blame goes to stupid hippy parents, who are still too busy reading positive affirmation bullshit from “The Secret” to notice that their 20 year old has developed a serious oxycontin problem.
Here’s a thought, how about instead of believing the self-evidently retarded claim that you can “Be anything” you get your ass out of the clouds and make half an effort to be something? Like, I dunno, an adult with a real job maybe?