Paul Parillo Maybe I wanna talk about the fucking weather!*

The days are getting warmer, and my tits are getting wetter. With every passing sunset, the weather radar proves most exciting, showing the subtleties of a warming season. Everywhere my retinas peer, I see people reviving their lawn furniture, BBQs and sports cars; the human being stumbles out of the dark shade of winter and steps into the rejuvenating rays of Vitamin D. It is a fact that people are generally less depressed, more ambitious and friendlier as the days get longer, warmer and more bareable. Yet after understanding all this, discussing weather in a conversation seems to have the same reprehensible properties shared with only politics and religion. Well, as the rebellious homosapien that I am - I'm gonna talk about the weather, and you're gonna like it, sucka!

Firstly, my guess as to the rolling of eyes/head whenever this topic is brought up is due to the fact that it's associated with poor conversationalists - and perhaps when this cliche first reared it's head, you'd be right. Now, though, people hide from this particular discussion and certainly don't have to. 

This is a positive time for our earthly seasons - it's spring, soon to be summer and if there was any reason to rejoice, it would be for this very reason. Oh sweet apple nips, I can already see the women walking down my street, wearing nothing but appropriate clothing for the particular season, and looking at me like I was some random dude in their field of vision. They'd pass me and as I begin thinking of turning around to see the shape of their bottoms, I'd stop, and instead appreciate a blossoming tulip planted by some homeless cripple. Ergo, when the seasons become more enjoyable, people become less likely to stare awkwardly at women's privates.  

If you want to have a proper conversation about the weather with me, I'll likely be engaged, but if I sense any sarcasm or falsehood to your verbal jive, I will cease speaking with you for the extent of our silence.  Weather chat during the winter brings only sadness and bleak hope for the life-giving sun - so embrace the weather banter while the days become just as enjoyable as the conversation itself. It's worth the talk, and I guarantee you'll start to remember why you love these seasons in the first place.

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