Trying to get motivated is like accidentally drinking expired milk: everyone's done it, but the sour experience can be bathetic, leaving us deterred.  

Attempting to become a self-starter is a tough and sometimes vaguely rewarding process - one where the positive outcome may take some time to appear noticeable. I often find myself coming up with reasons NOT to do something, simply because I cannot perceive a tangible reward for my efforts. It's only recently that I've come to realize the importance of achieving small, realistic goals. The self esteem attained from such a method is boundless and helps you see yourself in a different, more positive light.

Take for instance the sexually specific analogy of "the bases" - You're at a party, a real knock your socks off shindig; the bass is boomin', people are dancing, and Steve keeps eating all the M&M's from the trail mix - what a dick! And then you see her, the prettiest/3rd drunkest person at the party. You know she'd go all the way, and yet your brain keeps reminding you that the likelihood of you getting laid is slim to none; so naturally, you become discouraged.

But then you remember playing baseball as a kid, and somehow immediately associate your past experiences with the idea of achieving small goals. "I got an idea", you say to yourself quietly enough that no one can hear you - except for Steve, but who cares? He's a dick! "What if I just try my best to get to second base instead of hitting a home run, I could easily be proud of myself for getting that far". By this time you've started talking a bit too loud, and people are getting freaked out and move further away from you to continue partying. But this is good because just like Moses parted the sea for his buddies, the veritable sea of mediocrity has now been sectioned off to reveal you, in all your glory, to the lovely woman standing at your 12 o'clock.

Now, with one tangible goal in mind, you make your move.

And without getting into too much detail, you make it to second base, and just before she passes out with one breast awkwardly being caught in between the comfort of her bra and the cold outside of the room, she whispers into your ear " hjkakjecallmeabvnhjs". You did it! Now you can brag to your friends, not just of your successful night, but of how you set a goal for yourself and achieved it.

It feels great to be proud of something you've done, so it only makes sense to associate yourself with goals that are tangible and worthwhile. That way you can find a reason to think positively, act positively, and recognize that being motivated to do something worthwhile isn't as hard as you once thought it was.


Good stuff bud! Keep it up, (go for third base.)
I dig the whisper in the ear. Hilarious.

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