Paul Parillo My Superhero Threesome

So I’ve been watching the “Justice League” and “Justice League Unlimited” cartoon virtually every day for the past couple months or so and I’ve come to one conclusion – if I can’t secure a threesome between Hawkgirl, and Wonder Woman, I’m destined to be a loser forever. I blame my lust after the cartoonists and writers of the show.

Those two lovely women are written as fierce warriors, capable of virtually anything with an emphasis on proving their worth in a world of bigotry. If I had a vagina and was young/looking for a role model, I’d probably pick one or both of them (I’d also most likely be a raging lesbian – because I’m assuming that I have a vagina with a man’s brain). Next, the cartoonists - those slutty computer nerds probably had devious penis and nipple erections as they sketched the slim, big breasted superhero women. And with the exception of the odd quip about their luxurious figures, any mention about how attractive and fully formed they are, is nonexistent.

I’m sure a threesome with those two women would be a letdown (for them). There’s very little chance for a regular human being like myself to appease their sexual appetites. Perhaps they could just get it on themselves as I creepily filmed them from the corner of the hotel room I rented for the night. But no, that’s not fair to me – and seeing as I’ve already imagined them both agreeing to sleep with me at the same time, I might as well follow through with it.

I’m sure Wonder Woman would use her lasso for more than wrestling up some truth (wink, wink) and I’m certain Hawkgirl’s mace would come in handy – after all, it possess an electric charge worth one million Sybians. And out of the two, I have no doubt in my mind that Hawkgirl would be the naughtiest and nastiest. In the one Christmas episode, her idea of the holidays was to travel to a distant planet and get into a vicious bar fight! Wonder Woman on the other hand might not possess the same sexual vigor as in her counterpart, but part of me things she’s corruptible.  

Have you seen the way she looks at Batman – she WANTS the darkness in her. “Pretend my vagina is the Batcave, Bruce.” She asks for it with her eyes, and I’m also assuming that since she agreed to have this threesome with me, she’s got a wildness in her no one has yet discovered. And let’s not forget on her home planet of “Themyscira”, no men were allowed. Young and curious, I’m sure Wonder Woman had no choice but to experiment on the planet occupied only by beautiful female warriors.

Well, I should stop pandering to this idea before I start vicariously experiencing it through my imagination and end up in a sex coma with a mace in my ass and a lasso around my neck.

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