Paul Parillo The New Facebook App

Did you hear about this new Facebook app? It’s called “Hook Up Now” and I’m surprised it’s taken this long to come out. In a busted nut-shell, it allows the user to pick who they’d like to “hook up” with (based on their existing Facebook friends) and if any of those choices suggest a connection to you, the match is maid and you’ll hopefully get laid (fuck yeah for rhyming!). I suppose it’s a good idea – everyone seems to “creep” each other enough already, it’s about time those people started following through.

Do I even need to mention technology’s shitty effect on us? Okay, fine, I will. Remember in the movie “Wall-E”, the audience is taken along the cutest fucking ride until, BANG, the truth of the film is revealed to all. When you see the fat, lazy, purposeless humans, with all their senses being inundated with satiating bullshit to keep them from experiencing reality – well, that’s sort of what’s happening here (exaggerated, yes, unrealistic, no).

Nothing worthwhile was ever accomplished without an element of challenge. What people (I included, of course) forget when they sign up for this and other such things, is they’re letting the human interaction be sourced out by algorithmic machines. The guy who invented “Plenty of Fish” is an esteemed and award winning mathematician, statistician and purveyor and overseer of all things related to the algorithm. He explicitly mentions his efficiency with such things and is apparently more confident in his application of processing information than users are at having a proper conversation.

Sorry, tangents, you know, hahaha, sorry. So yeah, this new Facebook app is pretty sleazy, but who cares. It’s as harmless as it is pointless and as long as whoever uses it is careful, no one will get hurt. It’s just unfortunate that people are so quick to remove the element of “the chase”. Survival of the fittest, as Darwin taught, is an unbiased and relentless life force, and at this rate, the only thing that’ll be left on this planet will be the wires and hardrives of the computers that sold out humanity, and all that’s left of them will be dusted up by a cute and innocent robot.

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