Kyle Towers Product Reviews by a Sarcastic Jackass*

The GoPro

This video camera that you can strap onto your face for first-person documentation of your life is great if you're extreme. For us regular people, it will encourage and pressure us into doing stuff we don't want to do, such as go outside, do activities and generally enjoy life.

If you're a writer like me, your GoPro travels will likely capture hours in front of a computer monitor, but in various settings - perhaps in an office, at Starbucks, and in your bed. If you do get a GoPro camera, be prepared to be much more injury prone as you push yourself out of your comfort zone to impress your friends and get more YouTube views.

The Latest iPhone

What model number are we on again? It doesn't matter; go buy it. You'll be the coolest kid on your neighbourhood block for about a month. Then Apple will use a technique known as cannibal marketing, where they will release a new model before the old one even has time to peak its sales. If you entered yourself into a contract, you'll be stuck with that depreciating brick for three years. That is of course if it doesn't become an all too common victim of thievery in its early stages of greatness.

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System

This enchantingly glorious machine is all you really need in life. If applicable, it will instantly invoke pleasant feelings of nostalgia and true love. My greatest fantasy ever, which was fulfilled a few years back, was getting 'road head' while playing Super Mario Kart. I love the SNES. The graphics are sublime, the gameplay is simply amazing, the storylines are gripping, and the sound effects & music are wonderful, if not exactly as crisp as a Radiohead record. The SNES does exactly what it suggests in its title; it entertains. And it does this to the power of super.

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