L Woods Shit Girls Do, Explained: Crying

If girls were a Pokémon, the only defense mechanism we would ever need would be “Cry.” (It’s super effective!) If you really want to know why we cry so much, or at all, imagine this scenario:

You’re in your weekly fight with your girlfriend and suddenly she turns on the waterworks. You think it’s because something that you’ve said has truly upset her - you really fucked up. You now have two choices:

1. You can console her, tell her you’re sorry, you didn’t mean it and you don’t want to fight anymore. OR
2. You can keep yelling and try to win the argument.

If you go with Option #2, you better believe that everyone nearby is thinking that you’re a complete asshole. You’ve also now officially screwed yourself out of any chance of make up sex. Isn’t make up sex the whole point of fighting? Of course it is. Obviously you’d choose Option #1.

That, my lovely gentlemen, is why girls cry. The minute we start to cry, we win. It’s especially helpful when we’re in the middle of an argument and we suddenly realize that we’re wrong, we never even have to admit it. All we have to do is make our bottom lip all tremble-y, shed a few tears, and say, “you’re being mean” in our most adorable voice. It would take a make made of stone to not be affected by that.

Don’t feel stupid though. Think of yourself as a superhero. You’re jacked, handsome, and totally fearless. Unfortunately for you, you’re also completely defenseless when faced with a crying female. Think of a girl’s tears as your kryptonite. You may think of us as manipulative for taking advantage of your one weakness, we just call it strategic. [I KNEW IT! - Ed]

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