L Woods Stop Having Sex with Your Socks On

Take a minute and think back to the last time you had sex, hopefully you don’t have to think back to over a week ago, perhaps some of you lucky bastards even got it in last night. Are you thinking about it? Is it hot? Is it steamy? Are your socks on?

Seriously though, there seems to be an epidemic of people having sex with their socks on, and it’s pretty fucking weird. Personally, I have a bit of a sock phobia, so I wear slippers instead. It would be pretty hard not to notice if I forget to take my slippers off so this is never an issue for me. After talking it over with a good friend of mine, she pointed out that sometimes in the heat of the moment, you just forget to remove your socks, or you don’t even notice.

So, you sock-wearing sex-machines, I have a couple of questions. First of all, is this a regular occurrence, or has it just happened once or twice? (“It” being coitus while wearing socks.) Do your feet not get too hot? Which feels better, sex with socks, or sex with no socks? What about standing up sex, do you slide all over the place?!

I just can’t wrap my mind around it, it’s weird, okay? It’s like, there you are, all hot and tanned and chiseled, and there are your feet…safely tucked into your shockingly white socks. It really takes away from the overall level of sexiness.

Now picture the last time you did reverse cowgirl. (Girl-on-top, facing away from you – for you intercourse n00bs.) Now, picture it with both of you wearing socks! Raise your hand if you just got a little nauseous.

Perhaps this is just my sock phobia talking, but this has got to stop. If you honestly feel as though taking a split second to remove your socks will ruin the mood, then by all means, keep ‘em on. But toe-curling orgasms are a lot less sexy when your toes are curling in your socks, so let’s all make a conscious effort to remove our socks before getting it on.

There are no socks allowed in my bed, so if you wanna get with L Woods, and I know you all do, you should probably remove them as soon as you walk in the door. The rest of your clothes will follow shortly after, no doubt. 

Comments

Exception: knee-highs.

Haha what a whore!

i normally am a firm believer in sock-less sex until all of a sudden my boyfriend after our last sex encounter looked at me and said "I see you kept your socks on" and almost punched myself in the face - i am appalled at my actions :(

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