Paul Parillo Talkin' Diiirrrrrrrty

“Oh baby, yeah, right there, yeah, yeah, yeah, OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT!?” Talking dirty during coitus is a time tested tradition passed on by the generations of porno vids and the explicit brothels of yore. I wonder what “talkin dirty” was like before social influence: “Dearest Virginia, your loins hath become rather wet from our canoodling, mayest I enter your cavern of love at this moment?” – 20 seconds later – “Dearest, scared, most ravenous Virginia, it appears I’m ready to spread my royal seed upon your buttered biscuit, doth this be permissible? Ah, very good my love, very, very good, your father was right about you.”

A lot has changed over the years and our oral propensity for coaxing our sexual partners has become widely unique and efficient. Take for instance, sexting – blah blah blah happy face, winkey face, let’s have intercourse – it’s perhaps too easy for this to come about, but some people swear by it, not to mention the complimentary photos that come attached as well. But where it really counts is in the bedroom (or wherever you choose to mate).

Being asked to talk dirty to someone can be challenging – one of the main obstacles, of course, is sifting through the verbal boundaries. It’s likely if the person has asked you to talk dirty to them, they aren’t looking for some run of the mill word play. A good rule of thumb is to keep your sexual communication within the malleable boundaries of the particular sex you’re having. Description is important but you don’t want to become a John Irving in the boudoir. You’ll know if your partner isn’t enjoying your choice of words, and that’s the sensitivity you’ve got to be aware of.

“Sexy speak” can be the little hint of raunchiness needed in a dulled sexual relationship. Even bullshit like “50 shades of grey” gets people off like it’s the mouth of a well-oiled midget. Language in any regard is a powerful agent of emotion and physicality. In the wrong hands, it can be lethal, but in the right hands, it can be, well, the sexual revolution.

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