Hana Shafi TUI: Texting Under the Influence

Almost everyone who’s even mildly addicted to their phone has been compelled, at least once, to send a really embarrassing, you’re-gonna-regret-this drunk text. I will admit that I am guilty of several counts of drunk texting; I can’t help it that jager bombs just really encourage me to want to be expressive while intoxicated via text.

At the times when my self control has wavered, or I’ve managed to sneak my phone back from the responsible friend who’s holding it for safe-keeping, the texts I have sent haven’t been too bad. Maybe they have slight potential for a little bit of minor blackmailing, but all in all, they’re just hilarious and they do nothing to implicate any deep dark secrets like unconfessed love or a plot to take over the world.

Even so, I, like many have lost my self-control entirely and sent the worst drunk text of all: the tequila-induced emotional ramblings. I manage to do it in secret, because I’m never that hysteric drunken crying girl with huge globs of melting mascara running down my face. It’s only until a friend peeks over my shoulder that they realize I am attempting to sloppily text some soap opera-esque text to whoever. Mind you, those ones have been rare occurrences, but I will hold my head up high on behalf of all the embarrassing drunk-texters and just admit it.

Then again, maybe there’s something worth taking from those emotional drunk-text rants. If it’s true that drunken minds speaks sober thoughts (or speaks a sober heart, depending on how you’ve heard the common saying) then drunk texts may not necessarily be just meaningless intoxicated jibberish, but could actually reveal how a person truly feels. Of course, how they really feel could probably be more eloquently expressed with a sober state of mind, but it leads me to wonder whether drunk texts have ever been the catalysts towards meaningful relationships between people. I prefer any confessions of love and romance to be done in person, for obvious reasons, but in the age of iPhone-addicted young people, perhaps love and romance will also find ways to intertwine with technology, as odd as that sounds.

Besides, haven’t you ever heard of sexting?

Seriously though, do NOT sext someone when you are drunk; probably one of those drunk texts that you WILL regret, unless you already really have a strong connection with that person. Also I don’t think; “iwan a suock ur eudiqqq” is gonna be particularly sexy with all the fucked up spelling. 

In the end, whether or not there is any merit in drunk texts, I prefer to stay away from my phone for the night. If you can’t trust yourself then give it to a trustworthy friend, preferably one with enough upper-body strength to push you away if you attempt to wrestle it from them. Happy drinking! 

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