Kyle Towers Webmastering: Online Dating

The online dating world is truly an amazing place. Its members have come to a point in their lives where they have decided their desire to pursue leads from the opposite sex has overcome their many qualms and overall awkwardness of being publically displayed with their sexual intentions for all to see.

Online dating lays it all on the table. In the real world it’s hard to meet others. People aren’t advertising signs with their sexual availability and preference in bold Arial Black typeface.

Men are overwhelmed. They clearly do not have a grasp as to when it is appropriate to make their charge at the opposite sex. A lot of times you’ll see them metaphorically trying to point their penis in all directions, hoping something will accept it. And the more intelligent men have a subconscious barrier looming in the back of their head that stems from the fear of a woman publicly calling them a pervert or a creep for making a move.

Women are guarded. They are exhausted from the constant inappropriateness that is thrown at them throughout their day. So much so, that when prince charming does approach by way of horseback, he is shooed onward from force of habit. He and Thunder are forced to trot on another lonely day with the hopes of one day finding a woman to share all his love and giant horse cock with. And women have watched too many psychotic thrillers that would have them believe any unfamiliar man trying to say “hello” is after more than sex and needs to be swiftly sprayed in the face with pepper spray and then made an example of through a biased retelling of the ordeal in a Facebook status.

And so we have online dating.

Get to work, fellows. You’re hidden in the shadows behind your bright LED computer screen. I can almost guarantee you won’t be publicly humiliated no matter how pathetic and possibly disturbing your messages are. Who knows, you might even get a few replies from some impressive lady-kind.

Ease up, ladies. You’re safely nestled in your Snuggie with your laptop in the comfort of your own home. I highly recommend you sort through the many flattering, charming and often tasteless messages you receive daily and have a laugh. You might even find a crafty son of a bitch in the mix.

I must warn you though; it’s a very small world out there. Don’t be surprised when ‘WorldofWarCrafty69’ shows up at your work pretending to “accidentally” run into you. Good luck, daters!


I was so secretly hoping this article was about you signing up for online dating and telling us about it. Please do this.

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