I was talking with one of my friends recently, and she confessed to me that she’d never had an orgasm. Being the orgasm enthusiast that I am, I instantly experienced great sadness on behalf of my poor friend. My first assumption, of course, was that she just didn’t know how to give herself one.
I was about ten seconds in to a simple explanation of masturbation when she cut me off with news that increased my sadness tenfold: she wanted to wait for a guy to give her one. I don’t think my friend is alone in having this bizarre desire. I’ve talked to lots of women my age who refuse to masturbate and give themselves orgasms, and who would rather wait for a guy to pleasure them than to do it themselves. This idea is beyond stupid for a variety of reasons.
Let’s imagine, ladies, that each of your vaginas is a shiny red Ferrari that’s sitting in your garage, and you’ve got the keys. Also, imagine that this Ferrari has been custom-designed for you, ensuring that you’ll be able to drive it smoothly and comfortably. Now, would you seriously sit back and leave that Ferrari in the dark collecting dust? Fuck no. You’d be taking that baby for a spin. Now guess what? Your clitoris is even more fun than a shiny red Ferrari. [Also: Feraris can't squirt - Ed]
Let’s take this automobile metaphor a little further, shall we? So you’ve got this gorgeous expensive Ferrari in your possession. You wouldn’t let somebody drive your Ferrari if they’d never been in a car before. So why would you trust a man to make your vagina work? It’s not like they have vaginas of their own to practise on! If you want your male partner to be able to give you orgasms, you’ve got to know your vagina well enough to be able to teach him how to do it properly. You have to know how to power your own Ferrari before you can teach someone else to drive it.