Tori Morrison How to Start a Cult

Now if you're like me, there aren't enough people out there giving you free money and adoring you. And quite frankly, being nice to people through social negotiation and working hard for my money just isn't working out the way I had hoped. Since I'm an abundant resource on the history of cults, I often find myself dreaming of building a following, making their lives better, falling into my own non-reality, losing my mind, and convincing 300 people to wear Kleenex boxes on their feet till it ends in my own personal army handing out some bizarrely almond tasting Kool-aid. But since I'm too nice (or lazy) to do it myself, I thought I'd disseminate this dangerous information to more diabolical minds.

So essentially all cults start out with a megalomaniac. If you don't think you're megalomaniacal, then you wouldn't want a cult of people listening to you. The thing about cults is that they often start out with good ideas. Jim Jones ended his Jonestown cult by forcefully pressuring his followers to drink cyanide. However, he started out as an anti-racism champion, who was offended by the lack of efforts for a black religious movement.

Starting a cult requires making a list of all the good things you'd like to do in the world. Don't worry about planning the fucked up after-effects of all that power: the crazy will flow naturally. For right now just understand that you want to change things in a big way.

Attach yourself to people who actively enjoy altering the orientation-association area of the mind. The OAA is found in the parietal lobes and the most reductive understanding of this region is that it causes people to feel oriented. People who actively suppress differentiation between themselves and their spatiality will claim feelings on oneness or out of body experiences.

These easy targets can be recognized through their interest in religion, meditation, or drugs and will be likely to be less in control of their sensory interpretations.

Find a way of joining an existing group which partakes in one or all of these activities. Secretly select a following from this group of people which are co-dependent and depressed. You need to start building for them a reality of immense praise and much later one of shame. Alternate between the two until their need for your approval and their weakened individuality naturally creates an abusive power relationship with them. Don't forget to praise though, the treat at the end of the abuse is the abuse. Now that you have your target audience, you need an event.

What To Do

This event is the moment where you stop being one of them. Pick something flashy and better yet something publicly hard to explain. You can try lying or staging, but use their minds to cause the truly religious aspect of the event. Again, the orientation association area is your target, so encourage drug s, meditation, chanting, and peer-pressure to alter the event. A flash in the sky can turn into an angel or UFO demanding your followers to move to an already built compound if someone is lacking the ability to determine their own reality.

Implicate a friend, build a retreat

You should always have a good friend who's half-aware of your bullshit but who you trust wouldn't turn you in. If you're a good enough megalomaniac, you've hopefully already sought someone in your life who you can convince to do things for you and who enjoys following you around with a quiet smile and a rifle. Tell this person that you need to enhance the faith of your people with a staged event to weaken the doubt and test their resolve. Remember that this person needs to half-know what's going on, so that the moment they realize what you're going to do is the same moment they realize what they've done.

They may escape, but so will you in case the fuzz gets involved. So you stage your event, interpret it, remove the sceptics and build a new group that you do not run officially. The people will ask for you to run it, refuse for the time being. Control the consensus of the group while maintaining how great it is that the whole group agrees on a better life. Start allocating funds for a big project. This is why you can't yet run the group: no one will just give you free money. They need to interpret this as a community building their own retreat. Have an outside contractor build you a paradise-like compound and have members of the group finish the last steps.

This allows the group to feel as if they built their home but will also ensure the speed required in changing someone's reality. Now get some buses and have a great trek out to the middle of nowhere. It's important to be the nicest person on the trip and to be adamant in your refusal to lead.

Now it's time to move to the compound.

Isolating the group from their families is key to maintaining an alternate reality.

Only now are you ready to take the reins. Stage another event and then reluctantly accept leading the group. By now everyone in the group should be unable to leave, so you need to isolate their escape route through mental, and then later physical, restraints. It's around this time that you start to go nuts: destroy any competition by labelling them as non-believers and start surrounding them in your reality. In Jonestown, speaker systems played Jim's preaching every hour of every day. Put your people to manual labour so they suffer from injures and are too tired to escape. Give them hours where they cannot sleep or eat for periods of time so that they hallucinate too much and give in to sensory deprivation. By now the government is after you, and it's time to take down some helpless victims in a storm of your own attentional needs, asshole.

Die a creepy weirdo

Do something horrific and blame it on the government forces coming in. This will create an understanding that things will never get better from this moment on. In the final throes, Jones had all the parents murder their children so they would not dare choose to live with the consequences. Now go out in a blaze of glory and douchebaggery! Find a particularly obscene way to die, hopefully in fashionable running shoes.

Now before you start a lawsuit and I have to emerge from my crappy basement apartment with an abundant amount of evidence that I kidding, I want you to realize I just gave you the blueprint to maintaining your freedom. If you feel someone or a group may be abusing you, they are. Remember the treat is the abuse: if someone hits you and then you take apology flowers, the apology flowers are the finishing move. Protect your parietal lobes, because they are essentially the bathing suit area of your mind. Be skeptical of your own experiences and know there are are millions of fucks out there ACTUALLY DOING THIS.
Those sly dogs.

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