Tori Morrison Why I fucking hate PETA

PETA, the people for the ethical treatment of animals have good intentions. I believe this whole heartedly, I also know lots of good people who support their causes. I think that’s fine whatever, what I’m here to declare that I can love animals and not be insane.

I love animals but;

1. I don’t think we need to bring the holocaust into it. 

Or make jokes about the sex workers being murdered. In 2003, PETA used photos of people dying in the holocaust and paired them with animals in the meat trade. They used taglines like “To animals, all people are Nazis.” In 2004, when they heard Robert Pickton might have eaten the sex workers he made into victims and fed their remains to pigs, they came up with a campaign with the slogan “Neither of us is meat” and a picture of a woman and a pig. I feel bad for pigs, they are brilliant and I don’t eat them. But I doubt anyone will ever think back to Robert Pickton and think “Man that bastard was mean to pigs.”

It’s not that I don’t recognize that there are similarities in both versions of systematic killing

I’ll give you that, but it’s not a very good advertisement. You never see campaigns like ‘You're a fucking Nazi, eat a Denny's’. Or ‘Pork and prosititue are like the same meat, see the softer side of Sears.’. Also, and hey I’m just going to take a stab in the dark here, but people have a tendency to think you’re a monster when you are delighted that someone ate a sex worker because it means that you can make the PERFECT campaign out of this. There are plenty of reasons to go vegan or vegetarian. I just don’t think that hurting a family who has found out their daughter was murdered, or giving an old Jewish man a flashback is effective to anyone who isn’t already converted.                                              

2. PETA is fat phobic and women hating.

In 2009, PETA pushed a campaign in Jacksonville Florida ordering women to “Loose the Blubber.” Likening women who are fat with whales. They stated that women who are vegetarian are likely to be trimmer than women who eat meat. In 2012 they created an ad with this overvoice; "This is Jessica. She suffers from 'BWVAKTBOOM,' 'Boyfriend Went Vegan and Knocked the Bottom Out of Me,' a painful condition that occurs when boyfriends go vegan and can suddenly bring it like a tantric porn star." When she comes back into the room he’s fixing the wall where he bashed her head so hard that she needed a neck brace. Umm PETA, the thing is, when women are brutally gang raped they umm, literally can have “the bottom knocked out of them” so yeah maybe I don’t like tofu enough to make light of gang rape or domestic abuse. Also once sex gets painful to the state of neck brace wearing, or head bashing into a wall hard enough to fuck up the dry wall it’s probably gone into lack of consent territory. Seriously, why is keeping a puppy in a crate so it doesn’t eat anything dangerous abuse, but bashing a women’s head into the dry wall until it cracks and starts to break apart and she needs to go the hospital funny.

3. PETA advertises vegans as irrational human haters.

I often have to defend my vegetarianism when people assume I’m a crazy PETA follower.

This brands vegans and vegetarians as terrorists and maniacs who can’t reason with anyone.

I don’t eat meat, but I welcome reasonable debates at any opportunity.

4. Humans are animals, animals are not humans. 

I believe in animals rights, but I don’t believe we require the same things. PETA believes in cruelty free animal foods. Which sounds nice, but what they mean is no carnivore food for carnivores. Cats need Taurine to not go blind. Cats get Taurine from meat. I’m a vegetarian because I can consent to be a vegetarian. I can rationalize my feelings about meat and choose to be vegetarian. I would feel horrible if I killed a mouse. My cat and puppy would be STOKED. They would march around the house like big shots thinking they were king hunter of the household. Sure they don’t know what I’m feeding them but if I left it up to them, My cat Batman would drink beer and eat balloons, and My puppy Stella would eat peanut butter, stuffing and my couch. I’m the adult in the household, and like I wouldn’t feed a four year old ice cubes and sugar, I’m not going to feed them something that won’t make them healthy. That’s not abuse.

5. PETA is uncompromising about their animal beliefs. 

This sounds good, but replace uncompromising with fascistic and you’ve got a better idea of what PETA believes. PETA believes that crate training is abuse, no-kill shelters are animal warehouses, all breeders are irresponsible, we shouldn’t breed pit bulls because they will just be abused and that Betta fish require 13 gallon tanks and they get lonely. They are also against reintroducing predator programs, zoos, and pet stores. My problem with this is that it’s a logical fallacy called the slippery slope argument. Some no kill shelters do not move pets which require rehabilitation to proper centers; Therefore, ALL no kill shelters are full of horrible people abusing animals. Some zoos move animals without worrying about their complex relationships with one another. So, ALL zoos must be horrible animal abuse sites. See my issue with this kind of group is that there are no gray areas. At all. You either do as they say or you are COMPLETELY WRONG and they won’t lightly reason with you. No you’re wrong, you’re a monster, everybody hates you.

In conclusion, I understand why PETA is angry. I want to hunt down and bludgeon everyone wearing a Canadian goose down jacket screaming “a Coyote is a fucking dog you moron” until their blood dies their coat a dark red.

I would PAY to watch a group of pit-bulls eat Michael Vicks penis.

And I’d cheer my head off. But I don’t believe this would help anyone except my bloodlust, and frankly I prefer to starve that part of me off. Just seriously, PETA, you could do so much good if you could just calm down a little bit and reason with people. Compromise slightly on the insane stuff and people wouldn’t feel like they have to buy in to a world of intimidating exclusiveness in order to buy carrots. What I would like to see is a RPOIRA Rational People for the Ongoing Improvement to our Relationship with other Animals. Okay so it doesn’t really have the same ring to it. . . mmmm pitas. 

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