Hannah Star Yes, you Can Like Ass Play, and No, It Doesn't Make you Gay

For the straight men out there: 
So you’re hooking up with this super hot girl, and everything’s going perfectly. You’ve successfully gotten her back to your room, gotten her out of her clothes, and she’s even been so kind as to put your penis in her mouth. So far, things are looking pretty good for you, right? Then - Wow! This girl is even cupping your balls in her hand! Awesome! 

You’re about to openly announce that this has absolutely been the best hook-up you’ve had all week, when suddenly you find yourself frantically exclaiming something entirely different: SWEET BABY JESUS, DID YOU JUST TRY TO STICK A FINGER UP MY ASS?! And then more importantly, once you realize that you’re actually enjoying this newfound sensation: SWEET BABY JESUS, DOES THIS MAKE ME TOTALLY GAY?!

Well, it might. But it probably doesn’t. If you find yourself inexplicably enjoying the ol’ finger-up-the-ass, it’s probably because you’re a healthy human male with a functioning anal g-spot and an unfortunate societal conditioning to fear all things reminiscent of homosexuality. 

Now I’m sure you have a lot of questions, the first and foremost most likely being anal g-spot?! You mean I am biologically equipped and intended to enjoy anal penetration?!

Yes, my good sir, you are. Believe it or not, your prostate is your ticket to exciting g-spot adventures! Aside from producing a fluid that constitutes 20-30% of your semen, the male prostate generates intense sexual pleasure when stimulated correctly - it’s kind of like the female g-spot, only in men, it really does exist. Your prostate is located two inches inside your bum, and it’s recognizable as a kind of spongy, chestnut-sized bump. It’s actually situated right over your perineum - that little area of skin between your balls and your butt - which is why it usually feels good when your perineum is massaged. 

Then how come guys never say it feels good when they get their prostates checked at the doctor’s? I mean, if all this stuff about the male g-spot is true, you’re probably wondering why men aren’t showing up in droves to have their prostates examined. The answer is simple: you’ve got to be physically and mentally relaxed to enjoy having anything inserted two inches into your ass hole. I mean, I like having sex, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy having my gynecologist shove metal instruments into my vagina during a pap smear, you know? 

So relaxation is really important if you’re going to make any ass play work for you. You’ll notice that, if your partner tries to stick her finger up your butt right from the get-go, before your sphincter is relaxed and ready to open itself and say hello to the world, it’ll not only be difficult for her, but probably painful for you. Instead, start by having her run her fingers over your ass hole for a bit before she even starts the adventure inside. And once you do feel ready to have her take the journey to the center of the Earth, you can have her use lube, or wet her finger with saliva. (Side note: congrats to me for using my two least favourite English words in a span of two sentences: lube and sphincter.) 

You’ll eventually find - quite remarkably, actually - that the more you get used to the unfamiliar sensation of anal penetration, the more your - shudder- sphincter will loosen, and the more comfortable you’ll feel with having a finger up your butt. It’s an undoubtedly tense, uncomfortable experience for the first minute or so, but I assure you it’s worth the reward to push on through it.     

I know what you’re wondering now: how do I avoid making ass play the most awkward event in the history of the world? Do I just lie there on my stomach while the girl repeatedly sticks her finger in and out of my butt? Well, I guess you could do it that way, but that would probably, indeed, constitute the most awkward event in the history of the world. Instead, try to incorporate ass play into your other sexytime activities, like while she’s going down on you, or while you’re already having sex. 

And yes, I am 100% positive that enjoying a little ass play now and then doesn’t mean you’re gay. I mean, just because you like having a girl put her finger in your ass doesn’t mean that you’d rather it was a guy’s dick. There is no direct correlation between enjoying prostate stimulation and the desire to have an intimate and romantic relationship with a man. Enjoying prostate stimulation means just that: ENJOYING PROSTATE STIMULATION. It doesn’t say anything about your sexual orientation. 

So the next time a girl goes for your ass, don’t try claw her eyeballs out and repeatedly yell at her that you’re straight. A), aggressively and/or violently re-affirming your heterosexuality is usually a surefire sign that you’re actually gay, and B) now you know that ass play can be super normal, and super fun. So go on, get in there! Pun definitely intended. 

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thanks,

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